I never fail to completely suck at technology. But here I am, of course, trying.
I gotta say I've gotten better at the Twitter. I just get caught up in, you know, actually living my life I find it hard to Tweet about it. I think that's the first time I used 'tweet' as a verb. Rock on.
Anyway, finals are upon us here at the University of Iowa and so I've created a top ten list. Blogs love making the lists. So here it goes:
Top Ten Things You Will Experience During Finals Week
1. Your Friend Who Never Does Their Homework Will Rip Your Face Off For Texting Them
You know this person. All semester long they've called you "pussy" "douchebag" "brown noser" and a slew of other commonly used insults every time you shoot back the "Can't tonight. Studying." Text. They drink Jager on Mondays, they drink Jager on Tuesdays... "You only live once!" Is their typical response. We can't possibly let the man kill our youth, now can we? Is that why when you text them during finals week about studying in the library they completely lose their shit? "Is that all you care about? I'm studying!" Woah. I'm sorry when did you suddenly care about your grades for the man? Listen douchebag, do us all a favor and turn off your phone.
2. An Increased Number of Sighs In Quiet Study Spaces
It's been scientifically proven (or rather observed by my friend who wants to be a science teacher) that sighing has increased drastically since the return from Thanksgiving Break. It's most obvious in quiet study spaces thanks to the lack of "Did you watch the game last night?" conversations. Sighing will continue to rise as students begin to realize that they have been sitting in the same room, in the same position for nearly 6 hours.
3. Heightened Facebook Activity
Need I say more?
4. Someone You Don't Know Asking If You Want to Be "Study Buddies"
I hate this. I absolutely hate this. Once someone notices that you actually understand the material they are all up in your grill like a steak. And if you ever find yourself studying with one of these buffoons you'll realize that you aren't "study buddies" but in fact their unpaid tutor.
5. The Inability to Speak Basic English
I find that after hours of writing papers and staring at notecards I lose the inability to speak basic English. Example: Today I said "I am going to try and write 2 papers for my politics page."
6. You No Longer Have Conversations, You're Just Updating Everyone On What You've Gotten Done
I'm 35% done with my paper!
I am 50% through those notecards!
I studied for 3 hours today!
7. You'll Hate Everyone Who Updates You On Everything They've Done
I don't care because right now I am 100% annoyed with your face.
8. Cleanliness Takes a Time Out
Most likely at the end of finals week you will find:
Bowl of ramen on your desk
Coffee grounds in your hair
A pizza box filled with notecards
5 pairs of shoes scattered around the bed
3 pairs of pants in your bed -- all yours
Soap, unused.
9. Your Mom Calls to See What That "I'm Going to Kill Myself" Text Was All About
After four years she'll learn to simply text back. "You can do it! See you in a week."
Thanks Mom.
10. Your One Beer to Kill the Nerves Turns into Seven
Bring notecards to the bar. Maybe it'll help?
