It's Been Over A Week Bloggies

I am so sorry that I have been M.I.A. I was working hard last week at school getting it all done so I could home to Massachusetts.

And guess where I am blogging from today? Massachusetts! Yes it is true.

Something funny happened yesterday.

I climbed a mutha' effin' mountain.

I have never gone hiking so near to winter. 

I mean I guess it is technically winter. 

Well I climbed that mountain and when we got to the top- ICE

Shit was iced over and the wind was tremendous. 

So then I mass texted a bunch of people and I got similar responses that were formulated like this: "I did this, that's kind of like hiking a mountain, right?"

I feel like addressing these and see if they really are like climbing a mountain. There were two good ones. 

The first was "Well my friend just bought an 8th, that's kind of like climbing a mountain." 

And I think this is the most similar for obvious reasons. Getting high - climbing high. You start at the base and as you start going you might lose your breath, you know? But if you keep trucking you'll get to the top and it'll look awesome and you'll hang out up there, surveying the land. And then you have to find your way down and your exhausted and you kind of throw yourself around. And you get to the bottom and your like, "Wow I almost died but I wanna do it again."

The second was, "Well I ate queso and chips at Chili's, that's kind of like hiking a mountain right?" And I was like maybe. If filling up is like getting high, right? Or climbing amount? I think there is the same danger in filling up and then when you come down, your bathroom should probably watch the fuck out.

Yeah. This entry is kind of whatever. But fuck you I'm on vacation!

And then I fuck up

I always write in this when I am fucking starving. I wonder why that is oh small blogosphere. 

I found some chips. Doritos. And I am going to eat them. 

I ran all over Iowa City and Coralville to find Closer today because I've been dying to watch it and have been quoting it like a beast on my FB status. Mhm.

I finally found it at FYE and I bought it. I now own it and I watched it after finishing my paper-- I actually finished it and I never thought I'd see the day!

Not the point but exciting none the less.

Anyway, back to the film. While I believe the play is probably way better, way more kick ass the movie still has great words and some great acting. I am also in love with Natalie Portman. Which is good cause someone once told me if anyone were to play me in a movie. It would be her. (Epic. Win.)

It is so brutally honest about people and what they do to each other. The first time I saw it was very naive about how some shit works. People screwing, breaking hearts, loving, not loving, changing your mind, forgetting who you are. 

The whole bit.

The people in this movie love, hate, date, marry, bang each other so many different times it is mind boggling. But it's true.

Things change so fast and love changes and people change and you lose shit and find comfort and you move on and forget it and forget you and then maybe it all comes back.

Maybe watching this movie was a bad call. Or maybe a good? It made me think about some things and I got concerned. That I am doing it all again. Doing what I do. Maybe it is time to just own up to the whole thing and admit who I am.

I'll give you a bit of a hint:

<--- Yeah that's me! I know I look totally cute. Please refer to my previous post if you're like... what the fuck is she talking about.

I chew 'em up and spit 'em out. 

Or maybe not.

Closer is a great movie for nothing other than how honest it is. People are shit and we do bad things and we get confused and we get lost and we question everything. We change, we regret, and sometimes maybe we even love.  

I wouldn't suggest this movie if you are firm believer of the human race and love and true love and yadda yadda yadda. It'll depress you, you won't know what to make of it, and you'll find it untrue. 

-Amanda

Birth Days

I turn 22 in 25 days. Which believe it or not, is disturbingly close.

I don't really know what I am going to say on this matter but it seems important.

I realize I could have waited until it was very cutesy and was 22 days until I am 25 but as usual I don't care enough.

22 in 25 days. I feel like it's an odd age because I don't feel that old, you know? I felt 18 when I turned 18, I felt 20 when I turned 20. I felt somewhat 21 when I turned 21, so why is 22 so unfathomable to me?

Is it because I graduate this year? Probably. And maybe the fact that I just went through my third serious break-up in life? I feel like I've lived a life that I never intended to. As much as you want to avoid the mainstream, the cliche, the gross gross gross, you can't and I guess I always saw myself falling in love. 

Maybe not getting married but just falling in love. And now here I am the fucking black widow. I feel like I eat them up and then spit them out.

You like these kitschy pictures? I do. 

This comes up when I type kitschy into Google: 

It's pretty amazing actually. But pink flamingoes is not why I decided to sit here and write even though I have a 15 page paper due on Monday that I am 9 pages into and even though my stomach is killing me for some food. 

I am writing because I think the idea of being 22 and alone is frightening. Not so much that I am 22 but that I feel like my purpose on this planet is not to find love but to teach others what it can be or what it might be like and then release them into the wild where they can grow and be better mates. I am a trainer. I am a trainer girlfriend. A trainer fuck. All of it. 

And that's just a little bit sad. It's also sad that I just spilled a bit of my guts all over this blog right next the image of some pink flamingoes, you know?

I guess all I can do is hope that on December 9th I won't implode and I'll just keep moving forward... toward whatever end it is I am working towards.

I don't believe so much in fate. So I have a lot more work ahead of me than other people.

22 in 25. Mark that.

So that Hasan Guy

He had business cards that said "Soldier of Allah" or rather it is encrypted on there...
Please, read or skim...
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,574546,00.html

There's so much to say about this article that I don't even know where to begin...
The fact that I am using an article by FoxNews?
How seemingly bat shit crazy this guy went?
The blatant invasion of privacy by the media?

Let's start with those business cards.

So you see that there? That SoA(SWT) stands for "Soldier of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'all) or (glory to God). Now I am pretty sure people in my Career Leadership Academy class would be against the use of religion on a business card in general. But that's beside the point. I don't really think there's anything necessarily wrong with this other than the whole "soldier" bit seems a tad frightening in a apocalypse kind of way. But if it's such a big deal how come no one noticed before? I mean wouldn't someone ask what all that shit was on there? Or not? I also like how FOX is all... HE BOUGHT THEM ON THE INTERNETZ. So? Yeah, that's all I got. So?

Let's move on to the "video of his home." I am all about investigative journalism. I think we need more people digging deep etc. etc. That video is not digging deep. Someone said hey yeah come on in here and film shit. I mean WHATEVER. I personally believe it's not worth it. They're are turning this into an episode of CRIBS. *cue Snoop Dog* Hasan: And this is my Cristal and my bottles of pills and SUBHANAHU WA TA'ALLLLL. Fuck it.

Whatever. This is getting long. Read the article or don't but yeah. The media man.

Welcome

My roommate from freshman year started her own blog.
I've only ever had a personal online journal where I bitch and moan and cry and all of that.
Well here I am trying to start my very own comedic blog that'll hopefully be funny and somewhat truthful.

I ran 5 miles last night in the fitness center and as I was doing such I watched a show on Jack Ripper.
First off, people are still seriously trying to solve this? Motherfucker's been dead for like 130 years or something.
Whatever, they try to use modern technology and these weird mannequin looking things to talk about how he cut up all these women in alleyways. They have all these suspects-- I'd probably put my money on the weird, creepy American doctor who stored uteruses in his home and labeled them by class. (Yeah... it's true) But the coolest suspect had to be Mary Pearcey.

YES, A WOMAN.

Basically she was hanged for slaughtering this woman and her baby so she could keep the man to herself.
Poor thing. I bet he wasn't really worth it. Just another dick in a high-collared jacket asking for sandwiches. (And sandwiches were around...they've always been around. Don't believe me? Wiki that.)

But how cool would that be if the sick-o that was killing all those women, seemingly out of hatred for women, was a woman?! Mind blowing. I think she is still a suspect, though they could have tossed her aside.

In short, I wish it was a woman. But I am pretty sure it was the creepy looking doctor who kept uteruses.
Yeah.



My money's on him.